Sex Parties in London
What do you think of when someone says the words ‘sex party’? Is it a dark and debauched orgy, a writhing mass of sweat and leather? Or something more playful, a flirtatious game of spin the bottle, leading to slow entanglements of bodies, losing sight of where one person ends and the next begins?
I’ve been extremely lucky over the past few years to attend some truly memorable parties, from large scale commercial fetish nights to smaller private events, hosted by friends. There are pros and cons to all the different ways of doing these things, and I don’t think that the latter is necessarily more ‘authentic’ than the former. But while attending a kink event is a relatively straightforward process – choose your event, buy a ticket, dress outrageously – hosting a private play party takes a little bit more thought and planning.
I believe that everyone should host an orgy at least once in their life, so I’m going to share some of the tips I’ve gathered from my experience, with a view to making 2018 a more decadent and debauched year than ever.
Venue – this is key to a successful party, but even the most modest of spaces can be transformed into a den of licentiousness with some appropriate lighting, creative furnishing and good music. Push the furniture out of the way and make sure there are enough soft spaces for people to collapse on, whether this is a bed, a few mattresses on the floor, or just a soft den of cushions and throws. Turn the heating up a bit – you want your guests to feel comfortable getting naked! If you’re looking for inspiration for how to decorate the space you choose, the recently opened Peacock Parlour is a glorious example of inventive and beautiful decor choices.
Accessible venues are hard to come by, so make sure you tell your guests about any issues which might prevent them from coming? Are there stairs? Is there level access?
If you don’t feel able to use your home, or aren’t lucky enough to have a friend with a handy mansion, then my friend Louisa Knight has put together a useful guide to London’s best hotel rooms.
Guestlist – I think a good play party can be anything from five people until…well, whenever you run out of places to fuck! Anything less than five doesn’t quite make the ‘party’ vibe, in my opinion, and I think the sweet spot is about twenty. Shamelessly, I’d suggest my name at the top of any guestlist, but if you’re searching for party guests, my friends page has a whole host of suggestions…
Mood – do you want a dark BDSM scene, or a lighthearted swingers event? Giving your event a theme, even a broad one like ‘velvet’ can help people feel at ease and give them ideas for outfits and scene inspiration. It will also help you decide how to decorate the venue and the kind of lighting you might choose.
It can take a while for people to relax at events like this, especially if they’re not used to public debauchery, so think of ways to put them at ease. Games like ‘spin the bottle’ can get make people feel comfortable initiating touch in an easy way, making the first few interactions less awkward.
Consent – both sexy and mandatory, consent should be at the heart of your party. Consider writing some basic guidelines about how you want people to interact, and ask guests to read this before attending.
And the rest – will you be providing food and drink? Safer sex supplies like condoms, dental dams, lube? These little details sound inconsequential but they ensure that your party goes smoothly, no pun intended.
As the kink and BDSM scene in London continues to decline, we must make our own fun. I hope this post inspires you to do just that, and if you need a co-conspirator, do get in touch!
I’ll leave you with one of my favourite pictures from my recent birthday, featuring the beautiful Valerie August and my equally beautiful derriere.